Despite
the heat, she's curled in her bed with the covers over her head, close to
wheezing from lack of oxygen.
It's
all too much. Too many fights about homework and cleaning up toys and the
importance of taking showers and brushing teeth. Too many
meanest-mom-in-the-world comments. Too many worries about family members'
health and happiness.
And
the planning! The appointments with teachers, and driving to karate and
swimming and English and inline skating and the gardening club. The trying to
figure out if it's possible to get from the 3rd graders'
end-of-the-year party in Hoefen back to Niederndorf in time for the After
School Program's sleepover because EVERY CLUB THE KIDS ARE IN HAS TO HAVE A STUPID
SUMMER PARTY THIS MONTH.
Which
means she has to prepare for them. Two dozen muffins yesterday. Two dozen more today
plus a pasta salad. To manage the Broccoli Balls by Friday after work, it'll be
necessary to buy the ingredients today and prepare the dough on Thursday night.
But
it'll work. As long as she plans it.
And
that's not even considering the trials and tribulations of the day job or fighting
to remain positive about the unpublished manuscripts on her desk. Because
if she ever gets published, there'll be even more work and how in the
hell is she going to handle that?
STOP.
Push
back the covers.
Inhale.
Exhale. Repeat.
Mom's
not really broken. It's just today, just that her batteries are dead and need a
serious recharge. A little sleep, dancing to too-loud music in the kitchen,
time to read and write. Then she'll be back to organizing and planning and
making sure our little corner of the world runs smoothly.
Until
then, thank goodness for Dad, who is not broken and is supporting the family
with his charged batteries.
...I
thought a lot before posting today. I don't want to come across as a downer.
But I think a lot of mothers go through the same feelings in this busy world. Anyone
else out there ever have days like this? What gets you recharged?
